12/5/18
Art
Instructor:
Conversion Therapy/Camp
My project is related to the topic of conversion therapy camp. The LGBTQ community suffers a lot of backlash for being different than others. These people would receive criticism due to the people they love in their life. Other people who are anti-LGBTQ, like religion organization would make up false accusation by saying that they are impure to the lord's eyes, they can stain and harm our children or called them basically pedophile. What makes this worse is the fact that there are PSA videos of anti-homosexuality. In these video they describe them as being violent, being contagious to the youth and worst of all being child molesters. Another thing that these people are falsely accuse of is being contagious with sexual transmitted disease such as HIV or STD.
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| Therapist would lie in order to manipulate people who are confuse of their own sexual orientation. |
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| Propaganda from the PSA Anti-Homosexual. Due to religion and their belief they were against they wanted the Homosexual to banish from this world. |
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| "Boys Beware" Is an Anti-Homosexual PSA, where this film discuss the danger of Homosexual in the most exaggerating way as possible. |
These false rumor started during the 50’s when these PSA videos of Anti-Homosexual started. Since these videos are to be exaggerated for many people to prevent meeting these type of people in the streets. These false description give the LGBTQ community a bad name and certainly would cause other people (mostly religion group) to take unnecessary action in harming them. One way they would take action in harming them is by creating these secrete “Therapy session” design to help others. Which is a bunch of lies since these session end up hurting others and creating more confusion for the person receiving these session. Confusing since the person might not know if they are a homosexual, which would make them believe in the lies that these therapist would give them. Another thing they are capable of doing are these therapy session, in which they would do things like hanging a person by their rest and throwing called water at them. Another thing they would do is the electroshock therapy, where the victim is forced to get electrocuted, while therapist observe them. Another thing worth mentioning is the fact that these torture methods and these therapy session are all administered by religion organization and by many extremist who are anti-LGBTQ.
About My Project
What I did in this project was creating a short fiction story about the topic of Conversion Therapy Camp. In this short story is going to talk about the abuse that a victim went through in his religious household and in the therapy camp. One thing worth noting that I took inspiration by other people stories about their experience in a conversion therapy camp and abuse received by their love ones due to being a different sexual orientation.
Summary
This short fiction story is about a young boy name Sam who had the courage to tell his family that is gay, only to receive a brutal beaten from him due to his religious belief. Out of force the boy’s father would send him into this therapist where he is asked a series of odd question. Odd questions like, if Sam was touched by a older man, if he had any sexual transmitted disease or even if he had voices in his head? All these baffling questioned confused Sam and questioned the doctor attention. However, due to Sam refusal to comply with the therapist, the therapist would force Sam to stay in the the Conversion Therapy (also, known as Conversion Therapy Camp), where Sam would experience the worst torture than any human being withstand. Sam would go through electric shock therapy, being hosed down by cold freezing water, worse of all standing in bucket of cold icy water, where needles are inserted underneath Sam nails, while watching gay porn in front of him. Out of betrayed and being heartbroken Sam contemplates about killing himself for not being accepted for who he is and he slowly drifts to sleep wishing for this nightmare to end.
Story
The Way I view the World
What does it mean to be different than others? Is it like having a different personality, taste in music, taste in food or television shows? Or is it being categorized as a pidophile by your father, due to my sexual orientation? These questions bothered me as I sit at my bed, with my face filled with bruises and tears going down my cheek. I felt heartbroken that being different could hurt so much, that being different can make people go against you and to stop loving you. I contemplated the thought of death a lot lately due to the physical and mental abuse that I’ve received at my youth. I will tell you what I have gone thru and the deep depression that filled my heart.
Part One: Abuse
I use to live in a religious household, where my family would go to church every Sunday to participated in every church event. I didn’t mind it one bit since I loved doing these fun activity with my family. Not just that, but we were well known among the neighborhood where I live since we participated in giving out free turkey for Thanksgiving and helping others with shoveling snow for snowy days. We were known as a good Christian family who prayed and is well like by everyone.
One day I felt the need to tell my family that I felt different in a way some people felt about orientation, something that many were doing so far in the world. The term was called “coming out of the closet” and I felt the need to tell my parents because I felt the same way. All I could remember, all I wish I could remember, was my dad telling me if I was joking as he sat on his chair in the living room. My father thought that I was playing a prank on him, but of course I wasn’t, these topic and feelings are serious because I was confused about these feeling of mine and I didn’t know who to turn to. But the way how my dad reacted was something, that didn’t expect. As for my mother she was crying in front of me making me believe I said something wrong.
My father stood up from his sofa and took off his belt. Then from out of nowhere he slapped it across my forehead. The belt left a print across my face. It felt like I was slapped by tether ball, but ten times the pain that I could imagine. I grabbed hold of my face feeling pain and tears slowly running on my cheek. My dad grabbed my hair and threw me across the living room. I can sense his disapproval of me as he stood above me and said, “What the hell do you mean that you like homos for Christ sake! I didn’t raise you to be one”, my dad said as he buried his belt against my back. I couldn't hold back my tears because this pain was to intense for me to handle. “Stop crying and be a man” my dad would say constantly, as he continue to hit me “I didn’t raise my son to be a homo loving bastard, did I” as he repeated swung at me.
My father grew tired of hitting me across my back, which made him drop his belt to floor. “I raise my son to be a man for god sake. Not this thing” as he pointed at me. Then from out of nowhere I saw him clutch up his fist ready to punch me. I try to stand up to run, but my back was turning numb and slowly I couldn’t feel anything behind me. I fell to the floor in pain and what a pain I felt. As I looked up my mom grabbing hold of my dad, tugging him preventing him from hitting more. “DAVID STOP IT YOU'RE KILLING OUR BOY, STOP IT!!!” my mom yelled repeatedly and beg him to stop. However, this in rage my dad, so much more that he ended pushing my mom to the floor. I tried to stand up to face my dad, but I couldn’t carry the weight of my body. I looked up again only to see my dad, with his face in regret. Then he went towards me and grabbed me by my hair, felt like he was tearing right off my scalp and said “I rather have you dead” my father screamed at my ear and threw me at the floor. I stood up in pain, stumbling and went to my room, where I shut the door. Those words, these hatred echoed in my mind. Why? I started to say as tears run down my cheeks, why me? The thought of this gnawing at me for hours, until I slowly drifted to sleep.
Part 2 :Therapy
There is a quote that I read, “What makes you different makes you beautiful ” This came from a music from the Backstreet Boys that I heard a while back. Is about being unique and proud for who you are now matter what people may say. However, to be proud of being different doesn’t mean anything for since people like my dad would hurt me. The same can be said about the therapist that I went to, believing that he can fix me, fix the entity that is harboring inside of me. The therapist, Doctor Walton asked me some odd questions that felt strange to me and made very confused about my own sexuality.
The Doctor Walton would tell me, “Sam I’m going to ask you a series of question and I want you to answer it as truly as you can, okay.” I shrugged since I didn’t care of what the doctor would say to me. I’m basically in this therapy session against my own will, since my father force me to go to these session. The therapist would go on and say, “Have you ever been touched by a gay man or by a old man? Have you prayed every morning after you go to bed? Do you have any sexual transmitted Disease such as HIV or AIDS? Have you heard any voice inside your head? ”
I looked at the doctor confused about his questions, these stupid questions. After all I did felt offended by these question due to the fact that he view me as a lunatic getting touched by perverted men, while spreading these transmitted disease. With a loud tone I said, “I'm really confused doctor what does this has to do with myself? I never experience any of this crap.” I told him as he continued to write on his notepad. The doctor looked up at me a smiled at me, which calmed me believing that everything is going to be alright. “Its okay young man everything is going to be alright. These are part of the test that I’m giving you, to see how long you would stay here and to tell you the truth you are going to be out of here in not time.” A weight just left my shoulder, relieved I felt to hear the therapist telling me that I am allowed to leave very soon. I can't wait to go home, sleep and let my dad understand the situation.
The doctor said as he picked up the phone and started to dial, “Nurse Marta would you kindly escort Sam over here to his room please, thank you.”
Puzzled I felt, “Room, what room, where am I going,” I told the therapist as my anxiety started to kick in.“Don’t worry my boy you will be out in a couple of months, but it's okay , I promise you that I will point you in the right direction and help you fight this disease that the devil put in you.” Suddenly I felt the devil grasping my heart, toying with it and shredding into pieces as I stared at him in disbelief. “Listen young man I know you feel confused about this, truthfully everyone that I treated and helped, felt the same way as you did. But not to worry, I cured all my patient with this disease and I believe that I can do the same for you. So please be patient as I input my methods in cleansing you” The door open behind me and the nurse was waiting for me to go, to go into the dark corridor where my suffering would begin.
Part Three: Conversion
The meaning of the word conversion is to change or transform into something new, whether it be for the good for the person's health and mentality or for the bad. One question that I wonder every single day in this white empty room For weeks I been in these “Therapy sessions” where many doctors and therapist believes that they cure what was wrong with me. Of course I believe that they themselves didn’t know what they were doing because it felt like they were guessing what cause my homosexulity For example one day Doctor Walton told me that it was the Devils doing and he would try to find ways to put me in the right direction by making me watch old 50’s PSA vidoes about homosexulity. One of the things the video would say is how they would resort to violence and take advantage young boys. The most baffling part about the video was that homosexuality can turn children gay with physical and sexual abuse. After finishing the video that the therapist was showing me, he started to write on his pad, scribbling page after page. The therapist looked up at me and smiled and told me that he concluded our session and wanted me to return to my room. I just lay down on the bed looking at the white ceiling worried, thinking about how long I would stay here. I haven’t seen my family for a long time, which may me believe that they might have forgotten about me. My father wishes that I never existed and my mother probably is still in shock. I was slowly drifting asleep until the door suddenly to my room suddenly opened and at the front stood a therapist with two nurses. “I’m sorry to tell you this, but you have to come with us to do some test. These test would benefit you into become the right person”. I stood there shock and started to breath heavily. “Please don’t resits.” The two nurse grabbed me from my arm and forced me to stand up. I started to feel scared due to the fact that these asshole didn’t know what they were doing and most importantly didn’t know what was wrong with me. I felt scared. They dragged me into a room, where a chair stat on the middle of the room and light shining on it. Trying to resist they overpowering me and push me to a chair. This place felt more like more of a prison where securities would harm one of the Prisoners for the fun of it and throw them back to their cell, to stay their alone with no one to talk to. Looking up the therapist tells me,“This is going to shock you Sam please stay calm and be patient until this pursuer ends we are going to do this over and over again until you feel better.” My sight started fading to black as they repeatedly shocked me.
Couple Month Later
With each consultation, each therapy session it felt like being trapped in a mental institution where I been subjected to many torturous methods to make a person well, but in this case the torture method being used was solitary, no communication from the outside world and no ways to talk to my family. However, most importantly the worst torture was getting shock over and over again and watching gay porn while needles were inserted under my nails and being electrocuted by them. I’ve been in this blank room for a month now I have yet to receive notification of my well being. Like it really matter to me since I been trapped here what seem like months. This wasn’t only thing in my mind. I started to remember what my father did to me when I confessed about my feelings. I still get over the fact that he would beat me However, this wasn’t the from that brutal beating. That day I didn’t leave my room because I was too afraid what my dad would have done to me if he saw me. I didn’t understand why my father would commit such a horrible act to his own son, his own flesh and blood. What added more to my clouded mind is the fact being different, being gay was a sin. These thoughts continued as I lay on my bed waiting contemplating about death. I wanted to die so much for this nightmare end.
Work cited
Brinton, Sam. “I Was Tortured in Gay Conversion Therapy. And It's Still Legal in 41 States.” The New York Times, The New York Times, 24 Jan. 2018, www.nytimes.com/2018/01/24/opinion/gay conversion-therapy-torture.html.
Hegarty, Siobhan. “From Electroshocks to Religious 'Cure Camps': Survivors Share Reality of Gay Conversion Therapy.” ABC News, Australian Broadcasting Corporation, 21 Apr. 2018, www.abc.net.au/news/2018-04-21/gay-conversion-therapy-survivors-on-greg-hunt comments/9679416.
Nichols, James Michael. “A Survivor Of Gay Conversion Therapy Shares His Chilling Story.” The Huffington Post, TheHuffingtonPost.com, 18 Nov. 2016, www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/realities- of-conversion-therapy_us_582b6cf2e4b01d8a014aea66.
“Watch the Scary 1950's Anti-Homosexual PSA – ‘Boys Beware’ – Video.” Back2Stonewall, 9 July 2017, www.back2stonewall.com/2017/07/watch-the-scary-1950s-anti-homosexual-psa-boys- beware-video.html.
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