The Reality of Patriarchy
Kaleb E. Cajas
“By highlighting psychological
patriarchy, we see that every one is implicated and we are free from the
misperception that men are the enemy. To
end patriarchy we must challenge both its psychological and its concrete manifestations
in daily life.” (The Will to Change; Bell Hooks 33)
Men are not at fault for the way patriarchy
plagues our subconscious minds. We were born into it, given no choice but to
grow up as products of our social ideologies. Everyday that goes by it infests
our schools, our children and our selves. It’s almost inescapable. The only way
to truly stop the “imperialist white-supremacist capitalist patriarchy” is to
work together and not put blame on any one group of people. Feminists often view males as the oppressors,
the ones who bask in the joy of stripping the power from the powerless. Unable
to fathom a world where women and men can be seen as equals, born without any
predetermined path. This is simply untrue. Women have played just as big a part
in this predicament, supporting the idea that they too have a role to play. Even my own mother, a feminist herself, can
be heard telling my sister “that’s not the way nice girls behave” or even
telling me at times to “Man up”. I was
always very empathetic, very in touch with my emotions and whenever I would
show these, my father would always tell me to keep a mask on, not to let people
in my head. He’d always tell me to keep calm, cool, and collect, essentially
telling me to hide my emotions, that sadness shouldn’t be acknowledged, but
instead dismissed, alongside any other soft feelings. Whenever we’d play sports he’d get mad if I
wasn’t aggressive, yelling at me “Get angry! Focus!” sports never really interested
me. It’s funny though, how before
reading this article I never really realized how even my own parents are part
of the problem. It’s not their fault though, they grew up the same way most of us
did, raised by parents who didn’t know any better, victims of the system.
“To indoctrinate boys into the
rules of patriarchy, we force them to feel pain and to deny their feelings.”
(The Will to Change; Bell Hooks 22)
This may not be true in all households,
but the problem is this; when a boy who was not taught to deny his feelings
encounters a boy who was, he’ll be made fun of or looked at with disapproving
glares, powerful enough to change the ideas placed inside the kind-hearted boys head. This is where society plays a huge role in
keeping patriarchy alive. Despite the empathy and morality that was instilled
by his parents, the boy still may conform in order to be accepted by his peers.
There’s an example that Bell Hooks writes about, where a man she met in his
20’s never wanted to be like his father, and sympathized with his mother who
was abused by his alcoholic father figure.
Yet, as time went by he began to change, becoming the man he never
wanted to be, all because he craved acceptance.
“You got your guns up on display
But you can’t control how I feel, no way
Because freedom is free
And you can’t take that away from nobody”
Chicano Batman are a Latino music group from L.A who can’t help but be political in this age of trump. This song of
reminds me of anti-patriarchy beliefs.
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